The art of a good inner life and sound mental health is being able to adapt to circumstances and the changing course of things. Sometimes, in spite of all the planning, things will not happen the way we want them to, or have envisioned. This leaves us feeling stressed, with all our energy sapped out. Who amongst us have not gone through intense feelings of disappointment, anger, experiencing unfairness etc.

It is exactly to handle these circumstances that we need to consistently work on strengthening our inner beings- to adapt to circumstances and accept reality when the need arises. This is not an overnight effort but requires daily work- to be able to bounce back faster, to be able to take intelligent actions and to not let vitality drain out completely.

A disclaimer here- as far as my understanding and investigation goes, there is no ideal inner state. Even if there is, it will need constant work to remain there! Therefore, trying to achieve that ideal state is a futile attempt. Rather, the endeavor should be to keep elevating the life state on a regular basis. This way, it will not seem so dark or hopeless when problems come our way.

In this article, I have made a humble attempt, based on my studies and experiences, to offer some ideas that will come handy to keep moving and advancing.

1)    Pay attention to attention: Several years ago, I heard this statement in one of Deepak Chopra’s audio books – “You are where your attention is”. This has stayed with me and comes in handy whenever I find myself going into a spin.

Pay attention to where your mind is more often than not- the past, the present or the future. If it’s in the past, feelings of regrets or wanting to relive glories might linger on, both of which are not productive in the longer run. If it’s in the future, anxieties, fears, over-planning etc. might take over. The best place to be is in in the here and now- where we are at that point in time – to increase productivity, focus, concentration. When we operate from this space, we will able to see reality for what it is, rather than projecting it into the future. Mindfulness and meditative practices can be adopted to Be Present.

2)    Thinking habits: Habits keep us in automatism; doing and thinking things without being consciously aware of them. While habits help us bring order and discipline, they can also limit our potential; it might keep us in our comfort zone. I invite you to deeply consider your thinking habits: It’s in the thinking that action takes place. And a new habit formation will require taking action. For example, the habit of always being late, even if by 5 minutes, or just catching the deadline. This might seem like a discipline and planning problem. However, the root of it lies in the thinking that it’s ok to be late, which allows the negotiation to take place. If it’s not ok, then, one will not be late!

Ask yourself- How many of actions / thoughts were based on impulse or were automatic? And then, take it a step deeper- which of these are limiting my actions and behaviors?

3)    Learning to Dare: Sometimes we are stuck in certain kinds of situations, due to repetitive patterns of thoughts and behaviors. For example, a person may have financial issues or relationship issues on a recurring basis. All other aspects of life seem to be going well, except this one! The way to break this cycle of a recurring problem / obstacle, is to break away from the pattern: to think and act in a new way. But of course, this will mean, first accepting that there is a pattern that needs a shift and then taking the risk to break it. The comfort zone will work harder to keep you there, and it is at that point that one needs to dare.

Ask yourself- How desperately do I want to overcome this situation? And be authentic in your response. A high rating will naturally mean that you are now ready to overcome that part of yourself that’s keeping you stuck.

Points 2 and 3 are closely linked. Writing a journal on a daily basis will help uncover some of these questions. (Yes, this is also a habit, but it is meant to trigger. If done mechanically, it will prove to be a futile exercise- exactly the kind of habits we want to become watchful of!)

4)    The Romance of immediate results: In a world and times that celebrates results over the process, this is a big trap you want to watch out for. It’s just like enrolling into a gym and expecting to lose 4-5 kgs within the first month of exercising in years! And that too, without maintaining the right diet! One of the reasons we see a big gap between gym enrolments and the actual users.

With the topic of inner work, it gets even trickier: There is no visible change that one can see. It is only in the actions, thoughts, behaviors, responses to situations that one can start to understand that definitely some shift has taken place. And it is only doing this work every day and in everything we do, that any concrete shifts can be expected. 

Ask yourself- Do I believe that I can become a better version of whom I am today? If the answer is yes, you are ready to start your journey.

Honestly, there are many more points that can be added here. Treat these as starters! The main course will follow, depending on how much you have enjoyed the starters. Cultivate patience above all- as it is that which will help you stay on course. 

As your co-traveler on this journey, I wish you all the best! 

Diversity, Equity, Inclusion- they are the new buzz words of the corporate world: the business benefits of having a diverse workforce is now a well-established concept. Experts have also talked about how companies with robust DEI practices, could respond better to the COVID crisis.

Organizations that are looking to start their DEI journey, often begin with putting diversity metrics in place- an increase in an X% of female employees of the diversity strands they are aiming for. While of course, this is a good place to commence, organizations often find it a challenge to sustain for one of two reasons; not having enough applications from the diverse candidates they are seeking to employ or too many expectations placed on one or two diverse candidates- almost as an experiment on seeing if a diversity intervention will work or not. This, however, is done without providing adequate support or growth opportunities for the candidate to succeed.

Enter: Inclusive Talent Processes.

An effective DEI strategy will impact employees at all stages of their career- from hiring to onboarding to career progression and development. Inclusivity has to be embedded at every stage of talent management- that identify the stumbling blocks that diverse candidates may face while applying for a position to ensure that employees feel their contributions are valued. Most importantly, that they do not feel like outsiders and sense being excluded from developmental opportunities.

For the above to happen, biases hotspots need to be identified and steps are taken to remove them or at the least mitigate their impact on the process itself. In this article, we have offered some trigger ideas for you to work with.

Inclusive Hiring:

In case, diversity metrics are what you are aiming for then close attention should be paid to your hiring process itself, which will, in turn, attract the right talent. Often, the diverse candidates feel that they may not be welcome or sometimes even suitable for your culture, due to which in spite of having the right credentials for the position, they may choose to not apply.

Some questions to ask yourself- are our JDs being written to attract only a type of candidate- for example, is it gender-neutral. Or are our current sourcing channels reaching diverse candidates, are interviews being conducted in the same setting for all candidates etc. There are many other factors to think about- the selection panel, the onboarding experience and others.

Inclusive Learning and Development:

This function can be the catalyst for building the culture of inclusivity as well as influence large scale mindset change. However, organizations do not always realize the massive impact that learning and development interventions can have! Biases can exist in the way training needs analyses are carried out and the way that targeted learning programs are designed.

Some trigger questions- Are our training programs designed to celebrate certain profile types. For example, is the communication training emphasizing extroversion as an important skill? Or is there too much focus only on inclusive leadership with no balancing interventions for employees at all levels to recognize everyday inclusive habits?

Inclusive Performance Management:

This process sets the tone and communicates to the employees on what and who is valued within the system! An inclusive performance process will ensure that all employees can improve their performance and build careers that they find meaningful and fulfilling. Biases exist in the way success is defined within the organization- a certain kind of personality type only, for example.

Some trigger questions: Does the review ignore employees are less articulate or less visible than their extroverted or more visible colleagues? Does the process allow employees to feel safe and authentic for exercising their working styles as well as expressing their identities? Are there performance standards defined for each role? 

Equitable Compensation:

Compensation is an important factor that affects engagement and motivation. Fair and non-discriminatory practices, that has benefits systems for historically under-represented groups will improve the experience of being included- not just on paper but in spirit as well. It’s important to recognize areas where pay parity can be better achieved and take active steps to close the gaps if any.

Some trigger questions: Have roles and positions been analyzed for similarities in expected outcomes? For example, sales roles irrespective of the brands or categories. Or are starting salaries the same for similar jobs? An especially important question here is- Do we have benefits programs to support diverse groups; sex re-assignment, flexible work policies for new parents, assistive aids for persons with disabilities.

The above are just some of the starting points. Making the process inclusive will first require an audit of the current system and then planning to fill the gaps. It’s important to recognize that results will not come overnight. Rather, it is only through sustained and consistent efforts will you start to see the changes.

In case you would like to know more about this topic, do write to me. Happy to talk. 

The pandemic sparked off dialogues globally on the criticality of good mental health in helping us deal with the many different crises that the unprecedented times brought with it- loss of jobs, financial insecurity, health concerns, fear of the future, grief and other issues. The Tokyo Olympics also brought to fore the need to start tackling stigmas around it.

And now when the world is preparing to go back to ‘normalcy’ we need to pay an even sharper attention to it. Be it in the form of full-time return to work /  education, or a hybrid model, both will require navigating through a new way of doing things and being. Just as we had to adapt ourselves during the lockdown, we will have to adapt ourselves now as well: Re-orienting to having an out-of-the house routine, battling with traffic, re-learning social interactions out of a two dimension set up, fear of health and safety, exposure….this list is long.

All these changes will require different coping mechanisms and will start to present mental health issues of a different nature. It is therefore critical that the dialogue on mental health is sustained to make ourselves and our future generations resilient.

Enter: Inner Life

Mental health is often considered to be about mental illness or extreme anxieties and stressors created by obstacles / problems. But a closer look will reveal that it is the inability to cope with everyday issues that depletes one’s energy and sense of fulfilment. Sound mental health requires that we pay attention to the way we live our daily life.

A consistent narrative that we hear during workshops and otherwise is that of dissonance stemming from remorse from choices made in the past, the need for external validation, outer success, the desire to look and be perfect, body and self-image issues to name just a few. These issues are like a dull pain that is not overwhelming yet, but is still creating discomfort.

While this does not impact a person’s ability to be a functioning individual, the daily nag leaves the individual feeling perennially dissatisfied. Happiness seems to be an elusive ‘something’ of the future and the search for it a never-ending pursuit.

There is a misguided idea that the root of happiness lies in living a problem free life. The endeavor then becomes to avoid situations that carry within it a possible problem in the future. And when stress hits hard, there is a tendency to sidestep it by going on holidays or filling life with so many activities that there is no time to think at all, hoping that there will be a natural resolution to it. On the other extreme to this are procrastination, staying in the comfort zone and the many manifestations of fear.

However, the strain continues to show up, irrespective of the denial mechanism one may adopt: Poor exercising and eating habits, sleep issues, emotional outbursts, loss of interest in hobbies, addictions, including that of social media, over indulgence of online entertainment platforms are some such signs.

In reality, it is not the problem itself but the inability to overcome it, even if just temporarily, that causes the stress. If denied for too long, it will finally reach a point of breakdown, when we finally seek mental health support.

But this should not be the case. Consistently working towards strengthening one’s inner life through everyday habits, thoughts and actions is what is needed. Just as we focus on physical fitness on a regular basis, mental fitness has to be part of one’s routine life too. Self-awareness of trigger points, meditative practices, learning new skills, becoming sensitive to one’s self-talk are some activities that can be considered as a start point.

We will be sharing some specific tips on this soon, but in case you have any activities that have worked for you, do share in comments.